I’m not one to dwell much on my age or the passing years of my life. The nihilist in me can’t find the point in such thoughts. All I know is days roll into nights and nights into days, and so life goes, like the slow spin of a wheel. If you are a Dark Tower fan then you are familiar with Roland’s famous saying: Ka is a wheel and so it keeps turning.
For Roland Deschain of Gilead, everything in life was explained by this invisible force he called Ka, perhaps it was destiny, perhaps not. All he knew was that it was that inexplicable force that is the cause and effect of all things. He aptly called it a wheel, right in tandem with the troubled philosopher in the book of Ecclesiastes who once said:
‘What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.‘
And so as the wheel spins and time passes, what keeps me preoccupied if not my fading years, you ask? It is the people I have met in this said time. The different friendships that have come and gone. What comes to mind when I think of them is aptly described by my favorite dictionary:
That I was never really at risk of anything. Neither sacrifice nor loss. That just like the passing of time, which in itself is a thing so hard to grasp and touch and feel, so have been the relationships in my life.